A Community of Support Includes Us All

A Community of Support Includes us allBy Ashley Wall

The death of a child deeply affects our community, impacting friends, teachers, medical professionals, and even strangers who all empathize with the family’s pain and feel sadness and shock following a tragic and often sudden death. Family and close friends typically provide immediate comfort to the family during the acute period leading up to and following the funeral, but gradually support diminishes. It seems there is little left to do for the parents, and personal responsibilities demand our attention. However, during the months following a child’s death, many parents feel abandoned and alone. Awakening daily to their “new normal” without their child is excruciating; yet there are things we can do as a community to help:

Instead of asking if there is anything you can do, ask to do something specific. Invite the parent to a movie, offer to mow their lawn or plant flowers, and include them in a holiday outing or gathering.
Talk about their child. Even if it is uncomfortable for you, it is incredibly comforting to reminisce about his favorite things or funniest habits. Do not think that hearing the child’s name will remind them of his death. A parent is constantly aware that their child is gone. Talking about him can help the parent in the ongoing process of adapting to his absence.

Acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries. Particularly in subsequent years, remembering her birthday or the day she died is incredibly meaningful for parents. An acknowledgement honors the child’s life as well as demonstrates her lasting impact on others.

For over a decade, Heartstrings has provided peer-based grief support for parents, and it also offers opportunities for the community to support parents. The Heartstrings Circle of Hope is an annual memorial event for those touched by child loss. It is designed to connect families who have experienced the loss of a child (over 1 year of age) and to celebrate their child each year in a safe, comfortable place. Friends may attend the event to support the family or give a memorial donation. A printed memorial or dedicated message in the program is a meaningful, lasting gesture of support. The 2nd Annual Circle of Hope is scheduled for Saturday, August 6th, 2016 at Triad Park in Kernersville. Heartstrings also accepts and acknowledges memorial donations year-round, and can remind donors of upcoming anniversaries if requested.

Grief is unique to every parent, and there are many forms of support available in the Triad. Heartstrings provides a Child Loss Support Group, a 9-session closed group led by a facilitator and support parent, several times a year. The first 2016 group will meet in Kernersville on Tuesdays, 6:30-8pm beginning February 9th, and interested participants should contact Heartstrings in advance to register.

Heartstrings also provides grief support programs for pregnancy and infant loss, including support groups in Winston-Salem, Greensboro, and High Point and one-to-one peer support for grieving parents. Its annual pregnancy and infant memorial event, the 12th Annual Walk for Remembrance & Hope will be held Saturday, October 8th at Triad Park in Kernersville. Event sponsorships may be given in memory of a loved one by an individual or organization and are essential in funding Heartstrings programs.
Several medical providers are loyal sponsors of Heartstrings events and partner with them to support families. Together, they create brochures and videos that share insight and advice from Heartstrings parents to newly bereaved parents suffering a loss. Through Heartstrings continuing education bereavement training and consultation, medical practices strive to improve the quality of care their bereaved patients receive.

Support comes in various forms and through different means, but there are opportunities for everyone in our community to participate. A community of support includes all of us.

For more information about Heartstrings, visit www.HeartstringsSupport.org or call (336) 335-9931. Heartstrings provides compassionate validation, bereavement education, and hope to families who have suffered pregnancy, infant, and child loss through distinctive peer-based support programs guided by bereaved parents in partnership with professional facilitators.
Heartstrings is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) public charity organization that serves grieving parents regardless of race, gender, class, religion, sexual orientation, disability, marital status or socioeconomic status by connecting them with parents who have experienced a similar loss.

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