Control the Chaos

By Sabrina Church

As a wife of 16 years and a mom to 3 kids, I know and understand the struggles and beauty in both marriage and parenting. As wives/moms we have many things vying for our attention. We can easily feel pulled in numerous directions at the same time. It can consume us. How do we juggle all the responsibilities without losing ourselves in the process?

What I have learned over the years is that first, we start by taking a deep breath! Just breathe for a moment each day. Do something that makes you happy, even if it is as simple as reading a couple pages from a book. Your sanity deserves it. The world will not stop if you are not fixing all the problems every moment of every day.

The next thing is zeroing in and focusing in on your priorities. You can ask yourself these questions to help you narrow down your priorities: What are my priorities? Who are my priorities? Why are these things my priorities? How long will these things be my priority? And last but not least: What is my end goal?

I know you can have several different types of goals. I have intentional goals that help me to reach my end goals. To give you an example, here are my end goals – “I want to have a good relationship/companionship with my spouse. I want to raise my kids well, for them to grow up to be well rounded adults doing what they love, and are purposed to do on this earth. I want to stay debt free, be a person of noble character, a good friend to all my loved ones, and to stay sane while reaching my goals.”

In order for me to reach these goals, I have to have more intentional goals set up specifically for my marriage, each child, and myself. We cannot go through life blindly shooting at random targets because you will not reach your end goals if you are not aiming towards them.

Now that we know our goals, we must declutter our minds and our schedules so that we can make room for the things that matter most. Decluttering your mind and your schedule is a lot like decluttering your house. You keep what is important to you, things that are useful and adds to your life. You get rid of the things that are causing chaos, disruption, and the things that weigh you down or cause you anxiety.

We must keep in mind though, not all things we do will bring us happiness. We have to do some things that benefit us greatly that we do not enjoy doing. That is why every once in awhile we must examine our schedules and think, “How is this going to get me to my end goal? What purpose is this serving in my life? This thing that is pulling me in one direction, and this other thing that is pulling me in the other direction, are they serving a purpose or just distracting me?”

My husband has been a great accountability partner when it comes to warning me not to put too many things on my plate. Sometimes its easy for me to take offense to my husbands precautions, but I quickly remember that we are on the same team. He wants the very best for our lives, and he is protecting our end goals. We must walk through this thing together.

It is not always easy to say “no” to things…. Or to say “yes” to things; but if you are saying no to the wrong things, and yes to the right things, you become much closer to your end goals. You begin to see purpose in the middle of the “tug of war” feeling when everything is vying for your attention. For some reason, purpose almost always helps us to persevere, and sometimes, having accountability helps.

If you need change in your life, if you are feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of life, I would encourage you to re-examine your goals and make the right changes! You will feel the weight of the world come off of your shoulders. You will not only feel the difference, but those who are close to you will see the difference. Living a life of purpose free’s us from living a life of chaos.

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