By NJ Clausen

Hello and Happy August to all! This month I have the pleasure of introducing you to one of those people that you smile when you see or think about… Pauline Harlan.

Born in New Jersey, Pauline has an older sister and two younger brothers, one of whom passed from Lou Gehrig’s disease. During WWII, the family moved in with her grandparents, as her father was a merchant seaman; being a chief engineer, he was often out to sea. Pauline’s grandparents had a little farm where they had a cow, a pig, chickens, goats, ducks, and rabbits, in addition to huge gardens. As this was also the time of the Great Depression, various relatives would come and stay at different times.

In school, Pauline’s favorite subjects were music and art. Pauline loved to sing and remembers singing in school plays, with the school chorus, and a choral group. She laughed as she admitted that she cannot read music, so she would have someone else play it until she learned herself!

While in high school, Pauline met the love of her life, although at first, she thought he was very nice but so serious and a “square.” Pauline was working in the hospital tearoom after school, where Ken, was also working. He had been in the Navy for four years and was in New Jersey attending college on the G.I. Bill. After a while he asked her to go out, and they discovered they both loved music. Ken played the piano, the guitar, and sang in the choir at church. Things started to get more serious, and Pauline attended church with him, where she became interested in becoming a Catholic. After almost a year, Pauline was baptized. Her family loved Ken and took this decision in stride, however, when they announced that they wanted to get married, her sister had a fit! She felt that Pauline ought to continue her education, but they got married in the church 3 months after she graduated from high school. Ken decided that they needed to move to Illinois, so off they went, with no jobs and little money—but they survived!

That first year they ended up moving to Missouri and living in a rooming house. They had a room and a half, sharing the bathroom with other tenants. When pregnant with her first child, Pauline wanted to be back in New Jersey with her Mama, so they returned. They lived in a small apartment, and Pauline was a stay-at-home Mom while Ken went off to work. As their family grew and they needed more space, they lived in various rentals. Ken was offered a better job within the same company, and the family of ten moved to Connecticut. With the help of her sister and brother-in-law, Pauline and Ken bought their first house: an 1880 house in need of repairs everywhere!

When they lived in New Jersey, they had family all around and could walk everywhere. In Connecticut, Pauline felt isolated, so Ken decided it was time for her to get her driver’s license. Back then there were no car seats or seat belts, and all eight children piled in as Pauline learned to drive a standard shift. She remembers asking the lights on a hill to “please stay green, please stay green” so she could get through without having to switch gears.

Pauline remembers how the kids loved to put on puppet shows, magic shows, and having family sing-a-longs. Pauline realized when all the children were in school that she financially needed to work. Friendly Ice Cream hired mothers to work school days only. She also worked as a waitress on summer evenings. Her sister talked her into going to school for practical nursing. All the kids were there to cheer for her at graduation, and she worked for a few years in a hospital on various shifts. She changed to a day job at a nursing home which allowed her to be home at night, but still working holidays and weekends, then later transitioned to an insurance company.

After Ken had retired, they decided that they wanted to relocate and moved to North Carolina. At first they rented an apartment in Greensboro, eventually arriving in Kernersville where they both became very active with their church.

When asked what she feels is an important lesson learned as the mother of a large family, Pauline promptly replied, “To listen instead of dictating, and to hug more.” Pauline shared that there have been many ups and downs, but relying on the Lord, putting a smile on your face, and saying hello to people helps her keep a happy heart. For senior citizens, Pauline encourages you to be social and to get out of your own little space. For young families, a faith community is important for support. Play games together and talk to each other. Everyone needs to be active, be grateful and smile!