By Amy Marler

“And aspire to live quietly and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, So that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.” 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Years ago, when I was a young wife and mother, I struggled with all the questions most young wives and mothers ask… “How am I going to do this? Will I actually be decent at this? Why does it feel like all I do is mess up? I know I am going to ruin these kids!!” I tried to do things according to the world’s standards. I put my kids in all the programs, but ultimately, I felt like I could not keep up and was never enough. I was never happy and never satisfied. I was always worried about how my neighbor’s proverbial garden looked instead of tending to my own. I could not overcome any of those feelings. My husband would ask me why I was angry all the time and sadly, I never had an answer for him. It was a difficult place to be. It was difficult for the entire family. Eventually I realized it was me, my attitude was the problem!

It was my mother who gave me some of the wisest advice I have ever received! As it should be, pearls of wisdom given from our mother is the way the Lord intended it to be. She told me if I was not thankful, grateful, or willing to live where the Lord put me, why would He give me anything else? This hit me so hard! I was devastated! I knew God had spoken through her. Unsurprisingly, it made me angry at first. I did not care to hear what she said, I simply thought everyone else should change. I could not be the problem! Could I? I had not been grateful for the man the Lord gave me, I was not thankful for the children He crafted to be mine, and I was not satisfied with anything else that He had graciously provided for me and my family. I was neglecting the garden he gave me and blaming everyone else for its lack of fruit. I was such a spoiled rotten beast. How had I let myself be so obnoxious? I was tearing apart my own home like a foolish woman. It was in fact entirely my fault.

As I was reading my Bible one day I came across the verses in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12. To say I felt like these verses were written just for me is an understatement. I know I had not lived up to that call. I knew my attitude was putting a strain on the whole family, I just could not for the life of me figure out how to change. Finally, I realized the only way that I could change is with the Lord’s strength. I could not get myself out of the pit that I had put myself in! The more I tried on my own the more I failed. This verse taught me that I must not worry about what is going on in the world, Hollywood, or even what my friend was doing with her life. I needed to mind my own affairs, to tend to my own garden. As a wife and mother, that means raising my kids, cooking healthy foods, loving my husband, and most importantly, living for the Lord. I have to set my mind on things above so I can “walk properly before outsiders.” I learned that when you have no idea which way to go or even which way is up you must pick something you know is truth and follow that. This verse gave me the guidance I needed! This verse, that the Lord so kindly gave me, helped me grow into a better version of the wife and mother I needed to be. The Bible tells us He picked us up out of the miry clay, this was so vivid in my life at that time, I felt like I could have been watching a movie.

I took this life lesson and applied it to my life not only in a figurative sense, but I literally started my own garden. I decided I wanted to grow a garden to be able to feed my kids healthy fruits and veggies. It is also very hard to worry about what others are doing when you are focused on your own garden! I know not everyone will take the same path that I did but the point is that we all need to mind our own garden! Live your life for the glory of God, give it all you have even when it is hard, and you will end up with a life of which you can be proud.